Rant

I'll spare you....

Rowdy

Rest in peace, buddy.
Miss you!!!

Relieved

I'm not sure why, but now that I'm without wheels and can't deliver the coops myself, I worry about people blowing me off and not coming to pick up their coop.
Most of this is probably due to the fact that I have absolutely no control over my life anymore. I am totally dependent on my wife for a car to get someplace.
From one coop to the next most of the time wondering where my next job is coming from.
I'm supposed to go to my parents to help them with some closure on their new metal roof, I can't do that as trying to work out a time when I both have wheels and don't have to get a coop out is impossible.
No control!!
I'm coming to terms with it, however, I just finished a coop and the lady has to come about 100 miles to pick it up, so when I didn't hear from her right away,
I panicked...
I just got the email,
she'll be here between 10 & 11 am.

I'm relieved...

Serenity

Most folks have heard the Serenity prayer, "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference".
Personally, it's one of my favorites! Something that I continually focus on. However, I don't really think I've ever really achieved it. How would you know? Would one find themselves in nirvana or something?
As a card carrying member of AA, It's a matter we discuss extensively. It seems to be a consensus though that there are no hard and fast rules, serenity is for each individual what they perceive it to be. That's too bad.. for me I need concrete... I like it spelled out.
I don't know if I will ever find "serenity". Occasionally I have enjoyed serene moments. I feel like I've reached a kind of peace with the way the economy has changed my role in the family. I think I'm finally getting comfortable with month to month, week by week, insecurity. It is teaching me a faith and reliance on god that I have never had.
Myself.. I'm happy with that. For me that represents a huge improvement.
One day at a time. One moment of serenity at a time. I'll take it.....

Hopeful

I'm looking back at yesterdays post thinking that I forgot to mention that while I strive to be contented and I pray for contentment it doesn't always happen. So.. If I want to be contented...
Well I'm hopeful that I haven't confused you.
Talked to a good friend of mine tonight at the supermarket, he was telling me that another friend of ours that we used to work with is now a big time superintendent with a company that does bridges. He's going to work for him. Sounds like there may be a opportunity there for me as well.
It would mean relocating but an opportunity is worth it's weight in gold these days. I'm hoping between these things and the changes being made to the carpenters union, that I may find more than a few months of work this summer.
Gas prices are skyrocketing, cheese prices are insane! The country, Oregon especially, is doing it's damnedest to rally and get on top of this economy. It just seems insane the uphill battle we're faced with..
And yet, I remain Hopeful...

Contented

Another word that appears frequently in my prayers. What really is life about? A collection of material goods? a gathering of people to call friend? a daily search for that one great moment to tag "legacy". Immortality? I don't know!

My goal, personally, is to get thru each day with as much joy as can be mustered for that day.
Trying not want or desire anything more than what I have.

Is this contented?

Patience

For 3 years now, Patience has been a favorite prayer, a watchword, a mantra if you will. I've been so long without structure that I'm not sure I will be able to abide it when it does come. Patience! Should that word go hand in hand with waiting? Seems to me waiting implies impatience?